Plan B is the new Plan A
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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