i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
