Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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