I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
