did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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