just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
