My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Randomize