If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
