But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
