The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
