OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
