I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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