Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
