also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
