Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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