Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
