Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You're like the curious george of whores
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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