Your mouth is God's brothel.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
