windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
