You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
false alarm, still single
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
