I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
