i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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