So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
