she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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