I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
