I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
