Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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