if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize