I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
