You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
