Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
