Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
