but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
