I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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