Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Randomize
