I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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