Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
