so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
