I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize