True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
