I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
