Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
