Plan B is the new Plan A
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
