Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
