PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
