My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
where are my eyebrows?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
