All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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