I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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