Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My life is pants optional.
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