moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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