Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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