Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
be right there i have to get my cape
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
