I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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