You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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