Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
