Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
