I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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