i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Acid is not a monday night drug
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
