thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize