dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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