a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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