good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize