He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Houston, we have a blender
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
