oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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