Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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