nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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