Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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