the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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