So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i would punch a child for taco bell
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
