this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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