Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
