About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize